A divorce is tough on everybody, but perhaps the children most of all. At least one of the spouses chose to end their marriage, and many times, both spouses agree that the relationship is over.
But the youngest and most vulnerable members of the family typically have no say in the matter. Though their parents’ divorce may be for the best in the long run, it can still be highly traumatic. As a parent, you must balance your own needs with protecting your children’s emotional and psychological well-being as much as possible. This can be challenging, but it’s possible to guide them through divorce in a way that helps them adjust more quickly and healthily.
Here are five tips for making divorce easier for the children:
- Make them a priority: While you will be busy dealing with your divorce and job, your children need your love, support and attention more than ever. Let them know you still love them. Make time to spend together.
- Do your best to co-parent: No matter what triggered your divorce, you will still be your children’s parents. You must find a way to put aside your differences and work together to co-parent them.
- Don’t badmouth your ex: It’s natural to feel like venting about your ex when they do something frustrating or angering. Try not to do this to your kids or in their presence. Save talking about your negative feelings for your friends, adult relatives or therapist.
- Be honest, but remember their age: Honesty is the best policy when your children ask why their parents are breaking up. But adjust how you tell them to their age and maturity level. They don’t need to know every gory detail.
- Encourage them to express their feelings: Let them know that it’s okay to feel upset, scared or angry, and that you want to know their emotions. This could require several conversations as their feelings change over time.
A good divorce settlement will include a child custody arrangement that is in the children’s best interests. Your children deserve a living situation that allows them to continue developing and thriving even though their parents no longer live together.